oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
