remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
