I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
