her vagine was all disorganized.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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