You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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