operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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