i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
