Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
