a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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