im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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