Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
