After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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