that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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