last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
