is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
