let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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