I murdered the dance floor call the cops
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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