I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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