dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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