He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
