im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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