Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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