I bet he comes in French.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
