I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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