Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
