i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
