So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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