new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
