she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
