Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
