Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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