just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
