Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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