Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize