Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
