Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
