Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
