so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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