so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
