he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
