I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
