My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
