Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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