I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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