My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
