theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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