Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
