Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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