I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
