dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
