foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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