Banned from zoo.
Again?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
