Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize