You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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