Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
