"it" just moved
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
