Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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