If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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