walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
